and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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