ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
