I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize