my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
