i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
