we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize