Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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