If that was your dad, he is hot
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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