am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
