My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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