You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Randomize
