dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
