If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
