Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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