her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize