Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
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