please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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