Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
