Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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