i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
