ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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