oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
