An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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