she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
