Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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