I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
