Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
