There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize