so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
vagina is talking i cant
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
