I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
