walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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