whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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