if only i could text you this smell
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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