Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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