He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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