the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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