thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
