Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
