The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
