Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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