was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
