i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
