Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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