So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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