I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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