No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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