I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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