oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
