I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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