...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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