If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
