I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I skipped work to stalk him.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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