Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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