How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
