You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
