I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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