Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
