dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
