I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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