how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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