i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
