did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
