found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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