I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize