nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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