the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
