Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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