I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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