Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
