let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
