We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
