looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize