I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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