Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He did a backflip because drugs
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
